Are you making this mistake in emails?

This appeared in my inbox this morning and there was something important to note.

First, never heard of the person sending the email, nor the company.

So… the second paragraph in the letter is a blatant lie.

See for yourself:

—
This is Mia Henderson. I hope this note finds you well I’m not a big fan of getting phone calls unannounced so I try not to do it myself. I know you place tremendous value on your time, so I’ve included a high level overview of what we do.

We understand your capabilities in Corporate Development, Corporate Finance, Globalization, Growth, Information Technology, Innovation, Marketing and sales, Operations, Organization, and Strategy.

But the question here is have you made your presence and are you successful in reaching out to the decision makers at the right time

We are a growing database provider specializing in business list solutions and data enhancement. We have a comprehensive business database of 42 million+ B2B and B2C records. Our lists can be used for Multi-Channel Marketing – email campaign, tele-marketing, fax marketing and direct mailing. The list would be for your perpetual use with no restriction on the number of usage.
—

Some notes on this:

* To say they understand every nuance of my business like they do in paragraph 2 is absolute BS! They know absolutely nothing about me or my business – why lie?

vs. this section which I wrote for a client (and I have used this type of approach with numerous different industries and gotten good results from cold lists)…

“…Very frankly, my letter to you has the sole purpose of opening up your options for running your business. In a challenging economy, we all need to be willing to keep our eyes and ears open to new opportunities that can improve efficiencies and add on additional profit streams to our existing marketing model.

I don’t know if you’re happy or royally aggravated with your present business cash flow as it is today. I’m working in the dark. And, of course, again – why should you care?”

{NOTE: I don’t lie and pretend I know everything about them like the email I got – important lesson, admit you aren’t the be all and end all. You DON’T know everything. Nor do I. No one does. Admit your shortcomings and offer a solution to fix that}

* This quote: “But the question here is have you made your presence and are you successful in reaching out to the decision makers at the right time”

“have you made your presence…” – huh? That makes no sense to me there. My presence where? In the market? In my home town? In Canada? I have no idea what in the heck this is supposed to mean.

Think your writing through to make sure words being used are the best choice. We all make mistakes and let some of these things slip through (I know I do). But please be careful with these things.

{Read your emails through one sentence at a time – even going backwards from the bottom up, one sentence at a time. Does each sentence make complete sense? Does it stand on its own? Is it even necessary?}

* The close. Very important to consider the first action you are asking them to take. People are bombarded with pitches, so yours had better be a good one.

Here’s theirs…

“Please send me the following details so we can provide counts and a sample file for your review at no cost.
Target Criteria:
Industry:
Title:
Geography:
Look forward to hearing from you soon.”

Not exactly wowing me with their pitch.

This one works for me and my clients though…

“PS: Remember, a Keg Gift card, just a phone call away.

PPS: Not sure if you use an iphone or iPod, maybe your spouse or kids do. Even if you won’t make the time to give us a trial run, just do me the favor of some reply to my letter. Drop a note to me in the mail, or email me at < <<>>. I really want to know what you think about my letter, and maybe some feedback on how I can be of best use to your company. Any response at all, and I’ll send you an iTunes gift card to use for yourself, or to pass on to your friends or family.

Let me know at 403-xxx.xxxx”

{NOTE: 2 offers in there. One for a $25 gift card at a good steak house – theirs just for having a conversation over the phone. At the initial contact part of email marketing, all you want to do is break down that reply-resistance barrier. Get them to initiate contact with you after reading your email. THEN you at least have a small connection with them.

Second ethical bribe… just reply back to the email and get an iTunes gift card. Why not? An email reply isn’t as good as a phone call, but at least they took time out of their day to give you feedback on your letter. That could be the first step to a long term relationship.

One last lesson on this…

…GET THICK SKIN!

FAST!

If you are going into the email marketing world with thin skin and are easily offended, look out. You will get complaints, nasty ones.

Suck it up and move on.

I get those from people who signed up to be on my list years ago. People who have received tons of great marketing advice through my ezine.

They have a bad day and they feel it is in their right to be mean and nasty.

I remove them from the database before they have a chance.

The funny thing is…

…those who complain loudest have NEVER bought a thing from me. I look and see while removing them. 9.9 times out of 10, they have never spent a dime with me.

Who needs their BS?

I don’t.

Nor should you.

Think through your email communications properly… this one I got this morning didn’t.

Troy